As Seen On TV

Take the most despicably corrupt stereotype of a used car salesman that you can imagine and put him in a Bentley and you have your typical Direct Response TV (DRTV) executive. “As Seen On TV” depicts the slimy underbelly of the DRTV world known by most of us for its dubious “Buy One Get One” (BOGO) sales pitches that pollute the airwaves late at night and whenever else TV networks have advertising time they can’t otherwise unload. A "BOGO Nights" production is akin to a porn shoot—a veritable sewer pot of production companies, sketchy "inventors," fifth-rate actors and bogus studio audiences that converge for a few hours to create marketing vomit for poor suckers who are tricked into believing they are getting a real deal for their money. At least a junk salesman will let you know up front that he's selling junk.

Check out the sample and please follow us on Spotify.

Credits & Lyrics

 

 Credits

Richard Lehmann – Vocals & acoustic guitar

David Rimelis – Fiddle
Dean Nevolis – Guitars
Shawn Patrick Fichtner – Drums and percussion
Eric Swiontkowski – Bass
Glenn 'Kootz' Taylor – Keys

Recording Engineer – Matt Ryan
Mixing & Mastering – Glenn “Kootz” Taylor
Recorded at HomeFront Studios, Caldwell NJ
Mixed and Mastered at Taylor-Made Productions, North Caldwell NJ
© 2016 Stop Chester Music

 

Lyrics

Song and lyrics by Richard Lehmann (ASCAP)

As Seen on TV
They got a deal that’s right for me
Buy one now and get one free
Such generosity

As seen on TV
I bought a mop to clean my spills
Used it once gave my spine a chill
From there it was all downhill

Chorus:

Late at night I watch fat melt away
Unsightly zits gone in a flash
Flatter abs, broad chest in 60 days
It all landed in my trash … while they stash, my cash

As seen on TV
The dude tells me time is short
He wouldn’t lie he seems a sport
A guy who’d have a beer with me

As seen on TV
A super hose that lifts up cars
It shot water straight to the stars
When it blew up on me

Chorus:

When the water flows your hose explodes
It’s made in China don’t get mad
Call ‘em up, demand they refund your dough
It’s like a deal with a deadbeat dad…too bad…you been had

Bridge:

Order now this offer is limited
Now’s not the time to be inhibited
Buy one now and get a second free
Just pay the shipping and you’ll see…it ain’t free…no way!

(Solo)

Chorus:

Late at night I watch fat melt away
Unsightly zits gone in a flash
Flatter abs, buff chest in 60 days
It all landed in my trash … while they stash, my cash

Repeat Bridge:

Order now this offer is limited
Now’s not the time to be inhibited
Buy one now and get a second free
Just pay the shipping and you’ll see…it ain’t free….uh uh uh uh!